Sleeping with an unavailable man

Ah, at 6:30am, Jared left my bed, again! I know I’m kind of a mess, I am sleeping with an available man, which is kind of the reason I am sleeping with him. Emotional and physically unavailable men are my fave! It’s kind of a sick addiction.

I’ve been working like crazy the last couple of days. Also busy answering emails that Ariel forwards me from Craigslist. He’s trying to find a good pair of used skis and boots to go skiing with me this year. Not sure why since he’s clearly loaded and can afford new items. Wait, this totally explains why I hooked up with Jared. Ariel’s trying to make plans with me and instead of getting excited about it, I ran into the arms of another man.  Why am I such a runner?

It all began when I wrapped earlier than expected from a set at Sony, I wanted to go out to dinner and none of my girlfriends were available so I hit up Jared, who just happened to be enjoying happy hour at The Townhouse. How perfect?

We agreed to get some sushi at Hama Sushi. I walked into the restaurant to find a half in the bag Jared sitting at the bar. He greeted me with a hug and a few kisses on the lips. We sat down, as we order cold sake and a large beer to split, he was being so loud and obnoxious – so not like him and definitely not like all the Venice types that surrounded us. I had never seen him like this. It was kind of cute but he was drawing attention to us, which is something we normally try to deflect. Probably because we don’t really want anyone to know about our relationship, even though he’s in an open marriage. 

Our drinks came and we toasted to life. Both starving and not knowing really what to get, he told the bartender to just order us whatever he recommended as long as it wasn’t crazy expensive. He’s not cheap he just meant for him to stay away from too many twenty-dollar rolls and can you blame him, sushi is crazy expensive.

Spicy Tuna Biscuit

As we continued to drink our first of three orders of sake, we caught up with each other. And then of course, he brought up the topic and reason as to why he agreed to grab dinner with me. He asked if Ariel gave me an O on Sunday night and if so, was there more than one? HA! Fucking men and their egos! Does he not remember that he’s married and he’s really not allowed to get jealous?

However, this might be my fault, Jared knows he’s the only man, or I guess I should say, the first man to give me between multi O’s. I don’t know how or why? Not sure if it’s just how our anatomy fits together. I just know we have amazing sex. It’s really crazy.  And he claims it’s not the same with other woman, which I am assuming he means his wife. Which I really kind of feel bad about. I mean, I wish everyone could just have the type of sex that we have. Sex always seems magically when it’s with him. 

Having your cake and eating it too

As we ordered another round of sake, our sushi arrived, as we shared each plate, I told him that Ariel gave me multi O’s on Sunday. I could tell it crushed him a little bit because he sunk into his bar stool. And at that same moment, I knew that he was going to come home with me. 

After another round of sake and a fun game of peek-a-boo that he played through the bar cubbyhole leading to the men’s bathroom, we got the check. As we both put our cards down, I looked at him and asked, “My place?” I could see the guilt in his eyes, I’m sure there was just as much in mine. But part of the guilt I saw in his eyes, felt like guilt from doing what he does to me. Knowing nothing will ever be, by him kind of wasting my time. But if I’m having fun, is it really a waste?

We left in our own cars and reconnected at my place. Within .2 seconds of him walking into my apartment, we were intertwined with each other. Kissing passionately, actually it might have been more aggressively than passionately, either way, it was really intense! I’m guessing it was fueled by a little bit of jealousy. As we worked our way towards my bedroom, he unbuttoned my pants and I unbuttoned his. Mine fell to the floor first, I stepped out of them, ripped my shirt off and climbed into bed. Jared stepped out of his jeans, removed his jack, socks and joined me. He kept his shirt on, which for some reason was normal for us.

We kissed. Then he quickly worked his way down towards my lady parts. He started to enjoy it but then I realized, I want him in my mouth, I think because of my two nights in a row with Ariel, I’m developing an obsession with it – who am I? And who says that?

69 sex

So, I told him and we flip into a 69 position. And the new flipped again after he said, “I want you on top.” I’m got on top, which to be honest, kind of makes me feel uncomfortable, I feel so exposed and so vulnerable, normally but for some reason I had the confidence. Jared, like every other man I’ve even been with other than Ariel, was of course already hard before I even inserted him into my mouth. We enjoyed the taste of each other, I tried some new things with him, I tried the things that Ariel seemed to like and Jared moaned. Apparently, he liked them too. I was enjoying myself so much with his man parts that I wasn’t even focus on what he was doing to me. Then it happened, I felt the build up of what was going to be my first O of the night. It was good! It was intense. I jumped up and said, “I want you inside me.”

Missionary position

He climb on top of me – because we still do it missionary style.  It so good and works, so why change it, right? I think this is where our anatomy comes together so beautifully. I also learned that if I wrap my legs around his, it feels better.

As he gently trusted his hips into mine, he kissed my breast and began lightly biting them. Again, another thing I learned from him. I didn’t know I liked that. But it seems to enhance everything. I highly recommend trying it. Within two minutes, I had another O. He leaned down and kissed me on the lips. Then continued. He was on a serious mission and it was feeling oh, so nice. He changed up the speed a little and then went back into the move and speed that he does when I cum. He asked, “are you going to go again?” I said, “yes, in a few seconds.” He said, “me too.” We both climaxed at the same time. He kissed me, crashed onto me and held me for a moment. 

He got up, cleaned me off and then he laid down along side of me, wrapped his arm around me and pulled me. We snuggled and of course, he reminded me that I went three times. I laughed, kissed him and rested my head on his chest. We fell asleep and then this morning he did the same routine. Woke up, showered, got dressed and kissed me good-bye. 

As I laid there for a few moments, before I had to get up and shower to head to work. I felt a little empty but not like I did a week ago. I feel better now. But is that because I know I have Ariel to also hook up with or to keep me occupied right now. Even though, we not a thing, I guess it’s just nice to have someone who wants you and checks in on you.

Maybe this is what I want out of life, just a few lovers to get me through the times. Then live my independent carefree lifestyle the way that I want too. The question is though, will all of the lovers that I’ve been sleeping with for the past how every many years, will they still be around when gravity starts to kick in?  With they stick out the aging process with me? I mean, they’ll be going through it too but is this why men leave their wives and date chicks 20-30 year younger than them?

But if I fall sick, who will be there for me? It is wrong and selfish of me to want a partner partially for these reasons? Or does everyone who’s single and almost 40 have these same concerns?

-A. Thea


As we continued on with our dinner, he was adorable.about this. I’d think he was jealous, maybe he is  As we are drinking our cold saki from a wooden box, we constantly flirt with each other as we talk about work and Ariel. He’s so curious as to how the sex is with him and if it’s better than the sex we have. Not sure how that could be possible, I mean Jared gives me O after O after O and I don’t even have to try to do anything. But I still work at it, but our anatomy just fits pretty perfectly together. Which I guess is why I still sleep with him, and because I can talk to him and ask for advice about anything. He calls me on my shit and I call him on his. He’s also my ONLY friend, that has actually checked in regularly with me since my mom passed away and he gives me advice on other family issues.