Staying up to Netflix and chill until 2am on a school night is not a good idea but I can’t let a stray go hungry. And right now I’m not sure if that stray is Ariel or myself. Perhaps both, which is why this “relationship” is working.
So last night, I finished work and wanted to watch the end of Sunday night playoff games so I went my local hang out off of Main Street.While I was enjoying some happy hour food and a nice dark beer.
Ariel the above text. Followed by a little more…he wanted to hang out. Four times in eight days! Are we breaking a rule here? It seems like a lot but I really enjoy his company and I am just sitting alone in a bar so why the fuck not, right? I finished up quickly and rushed over to meet him.
I arrived to his place, he was wearing his basketball shorts and white tank top attire. We did the usual thing when I arrived, meaning I waited for him in his room, while he excused himself to use the restroom. I’ve learned that what he means by that is that he needs to go take a bong hit in his bathroom – I haven’t
dated hung out a guy who hit a bong since college. HA! Anyways…
After twenty minutes, he returned. He stripped down into his Calvin Kleins and joined me in the bed. We talked about the play off games today, while we watched the recap on ESPN. I didn’t get to see my team play because I was working but they had an amazing game – so amazing, that Ariel said, “that’s the best game I’ve ever seen.” I kind of laughed. Because he only started watching football like a decade ago, well maybe two.
Ariel said had to travel to Vegas soon for work. He told me the details as to why but I ignored those details because something kicked in that always kicks in – that evil little word – jealousy. Why do I always assume every guy is going to fuck around in Vegas? And why do I care, we are not a thing. He’s allowed to do whatever he wants, when he wants. Am I starting to develop feelings for Ariel? Or am I just considered about catching a STD? Maybe both. Which means, after last night, I need to put on the brakes on this… arrangement for a little while. But shit, he was buying skis and boots. Oh man… what is happening. It’s only been eight days.
I decided to change the subject. I had remembered that while we were watching the Golden Globes a week ago, he suggested that we catch up on all of the nominated films. So I pulled out a screen that I had for the film Mudbound. Also, this was a test. He told me he voted for Trump. Yes, I know, I should’ve left his house the moment he said that but you see, I like to play with fire. I also wanted to understand why he voted for Trump because he’s the complete opposite of what most of the Republican party represents. Ariel has way more in common with the Bernie Sanders crowd than the Trump crowd. But I specifically brought over Mudbound to see if he was a racist, I didn’t think he was but I just needed to confirm that he wasn’t.
We watched the film. We talked part of the way through it, not being able to understand how or why the hate in the south for people of color back then. Honestly, as I write this, I get sick to my stomach thinking about it and I can’t believe how violent human beings can be towards any other person or creature. It’s so fucked up. But he agreed with me. HALLELUJAH!! הַלְלוּיָהּ!!!
Once the film was over, we chatted a little more about it and the current events that happening in the US and world right now. Then of course, he asked me if I wanted to give him a massage. I totally didn’t but if I’ve learned anything by now, it’s that he’s not really asking, he’s more so telling me to give him a massage. Because he will never take no for an answer. If you say to him, he just keeps asking. So I took off his shirt, flipped onto his stomach and I started to massage his back. A few minutes into it, I started to get turned on. Weird, I know. I bent down to kiss his shoulder, then his neck and worked my way up to his ear. As I kissed it, he squirmed. Not sure why he is uncomfortable with anything on his head. He flipped to his back and I went in for a kiss on his lips, he turned away from me, AGAIN!
I worked my way down his chest, kissing every millimetre of his flawless, delicate olive skin. Stopping around his navel, he really enjoyed receiving attention to this particular area. He kept asking me to go slower and for me to do things with my lips or hands again. Then I made my way to his left inner thigh. He moaned. He his muscles tensed up. He liked it so of course, I liked it! I moved over to his right left. Then up to his testicles, lightly using my tongue, I slowly worked it around each one. He moaned while he caught his breathe with each upward stroke. Sometimes I would just keep repeating the moves and motions as he seemed to really enjoy them.
His selfish lover ways were for some reason strangely satisfying to me. Not sure if it’s because he was so vocal or for once I felt really needed and wanted in different kind of way than wham bam thank you ma’am kind of way.
I kind of felt a little but like Christian Grey, although I didn’t get to call the shots, Ariel did. It’s like a weird mixture of him being the submissive and the dominate, minus crazy sex toys. I loved the whole series of Fifty Shades of Grey, because Christian Grey was such an interesting fucked up person. Which is usually the type of men that I gravitate towards. Perhaps that’s another reason why I am so turned on.
Once he was ready to go, I quickly removed my clothes while he put a condom on. He never removes my clothes for me – strange – yes, I know! I laid down on my back and asked him to give me some foreplay. He looked at me with a very interesting look. Then crawled between my legs, kissed my left breast – his kiss, his touch was so light, featherly like. He kissed my stomach – OMG! This is really happening! He was finally giving me affection and attention. He kissed around my belly button and then – he stopped. He popped his head up from my stomach and said, “I can’t.” What the fuck!??? I just spent like 30 minutes going down on him and before I could even question him, he was inside of me. Trusting his hips into mine.
He fucked me super hard and super fast. Moving his hips much quicker than I am use to a man doing. Which is odd, since he’s sensitive to my touch and wants everything to be super slow. After a little a five minutes, we went into the butterfly position. And within a few minutes, we climaxed thirty seconds apart from each other.
He crashed down onto me and asked, “Did you come?” I said, “yes.” But I am a little confused… does he not pay attention to me when I say that I am coming? Can’t he feel when I reach climax? Guys, help me out here – can’t you feel it? Or do you get confused about it because so many women fake it?
Maybe he did hear me and he’s asking because he wants to hear it again, who knows. But I do know that he’s given me in O’s from positions that I’ve never had them from before – which is AWESOME! And I know he’d like to know that but there’s no way in hell I am telling him that! That will just add fuel to the fire of why he feels he doesn’t need to reciprocate in foreplay. Right?
As we laid there tangled up in one another, I asked him why he wouldn’t go down on me. He said, “I have a weird thing with vaginas right now.” Excuse me? A weird thing? I’m pretty sure, you just enjoyed that weird thing. So, of course, I had to inquire… “what’s so weird about them?” He revealed that he recently hooked up with a chick and apparently she had some serious odor. He went into too much TMI that I about threw up, especially since we just banged. Thank gosh we used a condom but, ew his cock was just in my mouth. Vomit! What if I have candida in my mouth or something worst! So I had to bring up the “are you sure you’re clean conversation again.” Which of course, he claimed he was but I don’t know if he’s just saying that because he has no sypmtoms or what? I mean do guys really go and get tested? And do guys know that they can carries STDs without symptoms?
Then I did what every guy hates, I asked him if he bangs strippers when flies to Vegas for work. Because yes, I am worry about his upcoming business trip. And in his answer, I could tell that he has or currently still does, because he started using his words very carefully before he spit them out, “No, I’ve never paid for sex.” Which means, he does he just pays for it in an indirect way or his buddy sets it up, right? So I asked again, “Ariel, have you fucked a stripper?” Ariel responds, “No, never!” Not that there’s anything against it. I’m just trying to figure out how he views women, sex … basically trying to see why he’s only into receiving and not into giving. I mean, it makes sense.
We laid in bed for a little while longer talking about which pair of skis he should buy and what kind of boots. He seems pretty eager to get a setup. Then I realized it was almost 2am, I slipped out of his bed and put my jeans on. As I was trying to button them, he grabbed my arm and asked, “please just rub my back for a minute.” I sat back down and began to rub his back for a few minutes and then I said, “I have to go, I have to work at 7am.” I put my bra on, then my shirt and asked, “What are you doing tomorrow?” He rolled over to his side and said, “My friend is coming at 7:30am to pick me up to go to the gym.” I smiled, bent down to him and kissed him on the forehead. He rubbed his hand over a faint blood stain that was on his sheets. “That’s from you,” he said with a smile. And yes, it was. My bad but I’ve learned not to get weird about it, we all have our periods and if we get weird in situations like this then the guy too. So I proudly owned it! I smiled at him and said, “I know. Sorry about that.” He smiled back and said, “It’s okay.” I kiss him on the lips and said, “bye.” I headed out, down the stairs and quickly hustled through the back of the property.
The whole time wondering, what am I doing? I feel like a teenager sneaking out of my high school boyfriend’s house. It’s so crazy! But I think, that perhaps, this is what is so thrilling about this whole situation with Ariel. I am reliving my youth (okay maybe not just my youth) but I am taking ownership and being extremely confident in what we have going on. Trying to enjoy every moment we have together and not getting caught up on the oh, I wonder if he likes me or if he’s going to call me or when will I see him again syndrome. With this, it’s nice just knowing that I’ll see him when I see him and I am okay with that. Maybe this is why the Universe brought him into my life. I need to learn from how he and I are together, operate out of my feminine – which is extremely hard for me to do. So I accept this challenge, thank you Universe!
All in all, I’ve learned a lot about how to be slow and sensual with Ariel, in a way I’ve never been with a man. Every other guy has always wanted thing much differently in the bedroom. He’s taught me to really slow down and appreciate and enjoy literally every kiss and stroke of my tongue. Yes, I know he’s not recpriocating but right now, I am okay with that. Maybe, this is part of my journey, to go through this type of “relationship”.