It’s raining men!

Not sure exactly what is happening right now but last night my phone was blowing up all night long – from three different guys – Ariel, William and Jared – trying to get me to sext with them or asking me if they could come over and bang. I guess there’s some truth to that old saying, “When It Rains, It Pours”.  

Raining Men

Now some of you might think, wow that sounds amazing, three guys blowing you up while the rest of you are all, shit girl, that’s totally normal. And yes, you are correct – that is kind of normal for me, but what is not normal for me is turning each and every one of the handsome men down.

Let’s start with Ariel – He’s been on a business trip in Vegas all week, dealing with some kind of a lawsuit. Initially, I was a little worried that he’d be banging all sorts of chicks but for some reason, but reason, I’m not. Perhaps I wasn’t worried because his father was with him, or maybe it was because he’s actually the one checking in with me. We’ve been texting a little but I’m not really into the whole texting just to text. I text for a reason and since he was out of town there wasn’t much of a reason. So we kept it short and sweet.

Turn me on

Last night though, Ariel was trying to get me to sext him – he was all “turn me on right now.” Which is so not sexy. I reminded him that I wasn’t a robot or a hooker by telling him that sexting goes both ways. He needed to send me a kinky text for me to send him one back and he didn’t like. So then I mentioned that he needed to step it up because I had two other guys asking me if they could come over. Which at first, I think he thought I was making it up. Then he got defensive and was all, “yeah but they’re not as good as me.”

Then I about died laughing and probably sent a text that I shouldn’t have but remember how I told you that I was approaching my relationship with Ariel differently than I’ve ever approached on before and that I didn’t care because I knew that nothing was going to come from it. But I told him how one of them gives me multi O’s each and every time. That they both go down on me, every time we have sex – which wasn’t true. Only Jared did this but shit, Ariel doesn’t need to know that. He just needs to know that he needs to stop being the dominate in our “relationship”. Which kind of backfired on me. He laughed and said, then go hook up with them. Which maybe that’s why I didn’t. No one wants to do something if you have permission right? Anyways, he followed up by asking me to fly to Vegas to have a threesome with him. Explaining to me that there’s “a bunch of hot college girls” there. Him and his stupid threesomes! UGH! I reminded him, again, that I was NOT into the idea of having a threesome, especially with another chick.  Also, is he crazy? Does he not realize that I am old enough to have kids in college? Ugh – MEN! Oh, actually he doesn’t know that because he still has no idea how old I am. HA! Maybe I’m kind of asking for this. Anyways, I just kind of ignored it all because William was blowing me up.

Peppermint Shots

William is my long time Chicago lover. We’ve been knocking boots since I was twenty years old. We’ve never been anything other than friends who go out for dinner/drinks and then have an insane bang session. And usually have sex again in the morning. But never breakfast, not even coffee. It’s literally kind of a genius idea. No emotions, well except for the last time we hooked up which was this past Christmas. He took me out for a really nice dinner and drinks at Augie’s, a fun dive bar that was decked out with Christmas decorations. After a few shots to many we had a huge fight. He was being such a dick and talking to me in a way I didn’t appreciate. So, I took my own Taxi back to his place, let myself in and passed out on the couch. I did, however, crawl into his bed the next morning. HA! Because why not? Right?

Well William is in LA for the NAMM show. He comes here every year for this show and he’s been eager to see me all week but his schedule hasn’t allowed for it, which is good because for the first time ever I wasn’t really feeling it. But he was blowing me up like crazy last night, sending the most vulgar messages like “you’ve gotta ride this rock hard cock”, “Can I swing by your place for a quick session on my way to the airport” – okay, I guess they’re not that bad but they are messages that make me feel like a piece of meat, even though that’s kind of the relationship that we have. And then he started sending me dick pics. Why do guys think girls want to see that? I mean do you girls want to see dick pics? Am I the only one who doesn’t care to see a dick pic? I don’t know, maybe I’m just over it. Maybe this almost twenty-year romance needs to come to an end.

Its kind of funny though how similar Ariel and William are in their in the bedroom. You can tell they both watch a lot of porn. The only difference is that since Ariel is much younger, you can tell that he grew up watching porn from a menu, picking which type of porn he wanted or wants to watch. Clearly picking porn that made the female do everything to please the man. Where as William, since he’s seven years older than me, clearly grew up watching old school classic porn. Because that’s how he talks in text and in the bedroom sometimes, which is such a TURN OFF! Ugh! What ladies actually like to be insulted and degraded in the bedroom? How is that a turn on?

Which is something, thankfully Jared does not do! He was texting me last night probably because he was looking to fill a void in his current situation. And I enjoy being that to him, that’s kind of all I really want from him. He’s so different than Ariel and William when we are texting or talking in bed. But I think that’s because he’s a writer, writers are more magical and poetic right? They know how to express themselves, well maybe not all writers but they all know how to create an illusion for you rather than demand it from you. He’s much more whimsical and creative with his words than the sales man or the trust fund kid who grew up in Bel Air. Which is probably why I continue to go back to him. We both fill that void for each other. Anyways, he was still in town and I can’t believe I didn’t give into him. It’s the best sex of my life. But I just couldn’t, I was actually kind of disgusted with myself last night. And found three guys to be texting me in the same night to be a little bit overwhelming, so I just decided to stay in and cuddle with my cat.


Side note: I’ve actually never thought out about this before but do you think one’s career choice could reveal how they are in bed? Or how they might treat a lady? Hmmm… I wonder if I am on to something.


At the end of the day, I think moving forward, I just want to pursue things with Ariel and anyone else who’s knew. Let go of the past and anyone who gives me that feeling of emptiness after they leave the next morning. Which is exactly how I would’ve felt had I hooked up with William or Jared and totally strange because I’ve known them for so long. I don’t know why I feel that way with them. And I didn’t even realize that I felt that way until recently. Clearly something in me is starting to change, not sure if it’s due to Ariel or not, but hopefully a new me is on the horizon. I am so over this single life…

-A. Thea