When you fully engage and get lost in the moment, it’s easy to have the best trip of your life.

Wow! I don’t think I’ve ever had such a successful fun trip with a guy before. It was such a blast, had so much fun, smiled nonstop and didn’t argue once. And now I’m more torn than ever!

Ski Trip Icicles

I woke Ariel up at 7am this morning because you know me, I need to be first lift up. But since that’s not really how he operates, we decided to go into town and find some vegan bagels. I didn’t want them, he did. And he was on a mission. He called every bakery and sandwich shop in town to see who had freshly baked vegan bagels. And he found one! He couldn’t believe how only one shop in town had vegan bagels. “Why would they not be vegan,” he asked me. I loved how passionate he was about being vegan. It wasn’t in that annoying in your face way, it was more in the it’s not that hard to make vegan pastries or food kind of way. There was more compassion in his tone and I loved it!

Tea and Quinoa Cakes

Ariel’s morning mission was accomplished! We went back to the house and he made a little breakfast spread (water, tea, honey, bagels and quinoa rice cakes) for us while I did a little work. As I enjoyed my tea, he would honey up pieces of rice cakes and then feed them to me. He’d continue with the bagel as well. I was a little uncomfortable, I’ve never been “pampered” like this before. So I tried to just relax and enjoy it.

Gosh, is this a normal thing guys do? I mean my ex husband never even made me tea and served it to me, let alone breakfast or anything really. Shit, I don’t know if he even ever refilled my water-glass like Ariel does all the time. Which is one of the reason why I’m beginning to really like Ariel. He’s so different than anyone I’ve ever been with.

Yes, I know he lacks a bit, okay maybe A LOT, in the bedroom department but he’s excelled in every other department in this relationship so far. He takes the initiative, has an opinion – sometimes I don’t always agree with it but he has one, which is much more than 95% of my Ex’s.

After breakfast, I got dressed while he cleaned up, yes he cleaned up. He didn’t want me to do anything. I walked out to the kitchen sink to grab my contacts. I forgot the case so last night, I filled two tiny glasses up with contact solution and soaked them in that overnight. I looked around the spotless kitchen and I didn’t see the two little cocktail glasses. “Ariel, did you see those two little glasses that I put my contacts in last night,” I asked him. He slowly walked around the kitchen corner, pointed to the counter near the sink and asked, “oh, no, where they right there?” I replied, “Yes.” His body language began to close up. He said, “sorry I washed those glasses, I didn’t know you put your contacts in them.” I laughed and decided that it was total accident and I couldn’t get mad at him. After all why would I put them next to the dirty dishes, I should have put them in the bathroom or some place else.  So  I thanked him for cleaning up the kitchen so well and reminded him we had a mountain to ski.

As we walked out the door, I grabbed my glasses, put my goggles on over them – a very cute and extremely fashionable look – ha! And we headed off to the gondola. Normally I’d be so embarrassed by this look, I’ve never skied with my glasses under my goggles before but there was no way in hell that I wasn’t going skiing and as always, I didn’t really care what I looked like with Ariel. Shit, I didn’t even put make up on yet. Only mascara yesterday.

His face was so lit up on our trip up the gondola, he looked a little nervous but in a good way. And I loved it so much I couldn’t stop taking photo. He even asked, “why are you taking so many photos?” I answered, “because you make me laugh.” And he did! He was just glowing with happiness. It was so refreshing, especially since he still had a lingering headache from yesterday’s edibles. Which, is something we opted out of for today – today was all about sober skiing!

Skiing Mammoth

Sober skiing with Ariel was the best! We bombed all over the place. He kept up with me when we went to the top of the mountain. He wasn’t scared. He tried his best and didn’t complain or anything. I kind of started to wonder if he was real for a minute. And just then, I pinched myself and poof, I woke up in my bed alone – KIDDING!! Ha! That’s actually not funny so maybe I shouldn’t joke about that.

We were having such a good time that we chatted about another potential ski trip. I told him I really wanted to ski Jackson Hole this season since I’d never been and he was down to do that in a couple of weeks. I told him we had to hold off because I was going to San Fran for a tech conference that I got invited too. (I’m not a dotcomer but I have ideas and a company I want to build so since I got the free invited, I figured it would be fun to do and learn.) I told him I could get him in and he was totally down to join me in SF. Omg! I started to blush, I’m blushing now actually.

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Side note: Ariel and I always talk about starting a few businesses together, we always toy with the idea. I also help him brainstorm about his spirits brand. Another reason why I like him, we’re both trying to better our lives together and inspire each other.

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Then I really blushed when he asked if we could go a few days early to go wine tasting in Napa and Sonoma. He said there was few places he wanted to show me. Oh geez, I don’t know what my friend was talking about,  he’s totally a little bit of a Casanova.

Mushroom tacos

Around 2pm, we called it a day. We both wore smiles as we headed down the mountain and walked back to the house. We changed, packed the car and kicked it over to Gomez’s for their happy hour – you can’t begin a road trip on an empty stomach now can you? Plus they had yummy mushroom tacos that we shared. Even though we had to send them back because they came out with diary on them.

As we ate, he asked me to help him set up his company’s Instagram account and help make his first post. So I did. I also told him about a few marketing tips that I’ve learned through the years. Which he liked. But like always, he needs to know the reason behind everything I do. Frustrating when you’re in a hurry to get on the road to head back to LA but this was and is another trait of his that I really like. He wants to know the purpose of everything I do and why I do it. And to me this is a whole another level of attraction. This goes way above physical attraction, which is what this relationship was before this trip began.

As we were finishing up, a producer for the show that I am working on called me. I was a little tipsy from the one and only margarita that I indulged in and I accidentally revealed Ariel’s secret code name in front of him – oops! Into the phone I said, “yes I’m with my Little Prince of Bel Air.” The moment that came out of my mouth I realized he was right there. I looked over at him. His eyes perked up and he looked over towards me. He gave me that look of questioning. And I nodded my head yes, confirming that was his nickname to my friends. This might not have been a good idea but I didn’t think it was too bad. I mean he does act like a Prince sometimes, and he does live in Bel Air. And he is younger than me, he knows this, he just doesn’t know by how much. I do realized it is emasculating so I’m going to try to not bring it up again.

He couldn’t have been too mad, or maybe he was trying to make a point because when the bill came, he paid for it. And then as he was signing it, he looked up at me and said, “I’ll get the meal this time, but moving forward everything is 50/50.” Say what?! If he wants to start splitting everything 50/50 then he needs to start learning how to go down on me. And guess what? I said that to him. Per the usual, he laughed and said, “Oh, Anneliese, what am I going to do with you.”

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Our drive back seemed like it was taking forever – see this is why I shouldn’t have had a drink. The post buzz feel was made me super tired. Ariel was pretty quiet. He just sat in the passenger seat listening to music and held little conversation about our potential trip to Napa, Sonoma and San Fran. Then about half way through the drive he had to use the bathroom really bad but there wasn’t a bathroom insight. (Anyone who’s ever done this drive knows what I am talking about.) He was getting so frustrated with me and asked that I just pull over on the side of the road. But it was pitch dark out and it wasn’t all that safe. So I didn’t.  About twenty miles later, we came across a sketchy looking gas station that I pulled up too. We both went inside to use the restrooms.

Then I waited, and waited and waited. He took a good 15 minutes in there. I didn’t understand what was happening. When he came out I asked him if everything was alright and that’s when he revealed something that I didn’t know about him. He said he often gets really bad inflammation in his intestines and bladder. Therefore, when he has to pee, he has to pee or it just gets worse and extremely painful. And now it all makes sense – this is why he smokes weed after meals and why he needs me to massage his pelvic… oh, why didn’t he tell me about this sooner. I wanted to tell him that I can totally relate to his pain because I’ve had really bad parasites before but I know that right now is not the time for him to learn this about me. Plus, his pain seems ten times worst than mine ever did.

We were back on the road, about two hours from LA! He expressed his concern for the rest of the drive. He didn’t think that our decision to ski and drive in the same day was a safe or good idea. He’s right, it’s not a good idea but I had to work the next day so it is what it is. Plus, I do it all the time, I just needed a wingman but since I knew he was in pain, I let him relax and fall asleep. I knew his body needed rest so I just turned the music up to where he was comfortable with it and turned the heat off so that I didn’t fall asleep and continued to drive. Which was hilarious! He appeared to be sleeping but he’d randomly “wake up” and turn the heater on. I’d wait a few minutes and then turn it. He’d “wake up” again and put it back on then I’d wait a few minutes and turn it off. It was hilarious! And continued all the way to LA.

We were just landed onto the 405 south bound when I asked Ariel, “am I taking you home?” He answered, “yes.” Which made me a little sad, I really wanted him to say “no, I’ll just come to your house.” But I understood that we just spent a lot of time together and that he wasn’t feeling well so I got off on Mullholland Drive, drove down into Bel Air and dropped him off at our usual spot, the pedestrian gate.

He slowly got out of the car, I helped him with his bag, skis and boots. He started to turn towards the gate, when he looked back over his shoulder and said,  “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” I replied, “okay, feel better.” He continued towards the gate, entered a code and walked through it.

I got into the car. I sat there for a moment feeling a little bit of emptiness because I wanted to end the night differently. I wanted a kiss, I wanted a hug – two things we didn’t really do, we’ve done them just not consistently. I wanted to feel desired by him so badly! And then shit, it just hit me! I’ve developed feelings for Ariel! Dead end feelings. Feeling that are going to go no where. Why, why do I do this with myself? I always set myself up for failure!

I pondered this question as I drove home to Santa Monica and I still do not know the answer to this. Other than I guess I don’t want to get bored, ever. And so far, with Ariel I’ve been anything but bored.

Our getaway was so carefree, we lived and enjoyed everyone in the moment. That’s what he makes me do. When we are together, everything else seems to fade away. I’m just trying to figure out if that’s a good thing or a bad thing? Does that mean I’m giving up too much of myself or am I finally learning to let go of my guard? Has anyone else ever pondered upon this question or made this realization?

-A. Thea