As our trip came to an end, so did our relationship.

With everything coming to an end, I knew I had to make this travel day with Ariel the best it could be. Sounds crazy because then I probably wouldn’t want to end things with him right but I’ve already made my mind up, it’s for the best and I’m already in way to deep with my feelings to let this “relationship” go any further.

Chair Lift & Skiing

I woke up early enough to get to the mountain to ski for a few hours.  I mostly lapped the groomers off the heated orange bubble chair lift. While Ariel slept in and cuddle with my kitty. So glad I got to ski, it was beautiful. But I did miss Ariel sitting next to me on the chair lift. So bizarre, I’ve never had that feeling before. But we all know I have to toss those feelings aside.

After a couple about a dozen or so ski runs, I headed back to the car and texted Ariel that I was on my way back so he could start to get ready to fly out.

When I returned to the Airbnb, he was icing his knee – it was better but he was still taking it easy. We both changed, loaded up the car and headed out. We did it so quickly that we had time to spare. Ariel asked, “do you want to hit a local brewery?” He loves breweries and I knew he’d really enjoy that so I agreed to it.

The beers at the Brewery we went to weren’t the best. Which is probably a good thing because we needed to head to the airport. And we did! I dropped Ariel, our luggage and kitty off at the curb while I returned the rental car. Then helped him carry the luggage to the check in counter.

Before we walked to the gate we made a pit stop at Cat Cora’s restaurant. We shared a delicious beer and Allen’s other favorite “app” – sweet potato fries. This whole thing felt so strange, we both knew per my words that this was ending after this flight so it was … I don’t know how to explain it. We enjoyed few more bittersweet moments and then boarded our flight.

traveling back to LA

These suppose-to-be the last few hours together were so bizarre. On the flight back, Ariel put on a Rom-Com on my iPad –  which is funny because every time we Netflix and chill, a rom-com is the last thing he wants to watch.

view from the plane

We didn’t get to finish the movie because the flight was too short. But once we landed at LAX, I asked, “are you taking a separate taxi, or do you want to share one and then I’ll drive you home?” He replied, “I’ll share a taxi with you and then order a Lyft or Uber from your place.”

When we arrived to my place, he paid for the taxi without even looking over to me for money, something he normally does. We exited the taxi and I asked again, “are you ordering a Lyft now so you don’t have to take the stairs?” (My place is on the third floor.) He said, “no I’ll come up for a bit.” Que? A bit? What? Why?  It made more sense for him to leave and not have to do two flights of stairs. We went in. I offered to carry his tiny Louis Vuitton carry on up the stairs but he declined.

(Side Note: I have no idea how he fit everything he needed into the tiny piece of luggage, I mean I know he used all of my ski gear but still. It was crazy, yet extremely impressive!)

We settled into my place. I unpack a few things, Ariel just sat on the couch. I looked over at this and asked, “Are you ordering a Lyft or Uber or should I order us food?” He pulled out his phone, looked at his Uber app then up to me and replied, “the surcharge is too high right now so I’ll wait.” I smiled and said, “okay. I’ll order us food.”

What Ariel didn’t know is that I could see his phone and I saw that there zero surcharge – clearly someone didn’t want to leave. I can’t speak for him but I didn’t want him to go either but unless he steps it up and tells me that we could be something then it was going to be done. I deserve a real relationship! I am almost 40 and don’t really have time to fuck around much longer. This clock is ticking!

I ordered us food while he picked out a movie and we had a really nice relaxing night. Not many words were spoken, he was actually being extremely careful with all of his actions and words, it was weird. After the movie I asked, “are you ordering an Uber or are you spending the night and then I will drop you off tomorrow on my way to work.” He replied with a long deep breath and stretch, “I’ll just spend the night and you can drop me in the morning.” I smirked and walked towards the bedroom.

I wondered if thought that I’d sleep with him one last time, I didn’t. I had zero desire too. I didn’t even really want to cuddle with him. I mean for the most part we had a pretty trip, minus the parts where he tried to make me jealous with other girls and him hurting his knee. But at this point I was over it and if he wanted to save whatever this relationship is or was, then he needed to make a move for once, not leave everything up to me.

-A. Thea